The Raven's Roost

I finally got all my imaging results and blood panels back, and the doctor's office has set a follow up appointment.

Nothing. Aside from that ceruloplasmin being a little low, there's a lot of use of the words "normal," and "unremarkable." I don't even have deep-tissue liver scarring or stiffening, no signs of cirrhosis, NAFLD, no kidney problems, no pancreatic problems, no bile duct weirdness.

So why in the world do my liver enzymes get "elevated" every six months or so? In the absence of an internal problem, I have to assume something I'm doing is causing my liver to get angry every so often, but looking back over my testing history, I can't figure it out. I only drink alcohol when we're on a Disney trip. I don't eat huge amounts of processed foods. The only thing I wonder about is perhaps it's the ramping up of marathon training, where I'm doing 50 or 60 mile weeks, but I doubt anyone's going to tell me to stop.

Obviously running a marathon, itself, isn't healthy. It's hell on your body. Training to run a marathon is a different thing, and could be looked at as being pretty good for you. The first time I started marathon training, I found I naturally wanted to improve my diet and sleep so I'd feel better running, and a whole cascade of lifestyle changes came from it.

But anyway, I'm not even meeting with the doctor himself, "just" a nurse practitioner. LOL. I also my an appointment with my GP the same week, but I'm getting all this out of the way before our trip at the end of the month and I can just enjoy myself without it hanging over me. We're going for a little trip to Disney, mostly to visit the Epcot Flower & Garden Festival, which we both really like. So next week I'll also be pulling the camper out and getting all that ready to go. No races that weekend, either. But we'll be there for the change from April to May, so we'll get to have two different Gideon's cookies, and probably a new set of ice cream flavors at Salt & Straw.

I don't know if now they're going to test more and do something like the biopsy, or just shrug and say, "If you feel all right then keep doing whatever you're doing."

After several attempts to get my blood work done, I finally gave up and just quit taking my blood pressure meds, in preparation for just not going to the doctor any more. Fox was thinking I might be able to go off it, but for the last few days I've had a headache, my heart flutter is acting up wildly, and my readings are all either "elevated" or "stage one." So I guess I gotta take the stupid pills. I just refuse to deal with this particular office any more. If you can't even reliably get my lab orders sent in, or recognize that your electronic system is unreliable and cover your butts by mailing me a print copy, then I'm not going to worry my nerves with you.

I understand medical office workers have a lot of stuff on their plates, and I don't want to antagonize them about this, but it's incredibly stressful to me. I have to fast the night before, drive anywhere from thirty to forty-five minutes just to get to a lab, wait for my appointment, only to find they still didn't send the papers? Nah, son.

That doctor is a nice guy, a good doctor, but it feels like this every six months lab work thing is getting someone a kickback. It feels entirely unnecessary. So it's not that I don't like him, I just feel like he doesn't suit my present medical needs.

This morning I was digging around on the website and found a female doc who is way the fuck out in Ponte Vedra, BUT she has a specialty in sports medicine, and in her bio talks about being outdoors, running, hiking, and bike riding. So, if I were to tell her I ran a 10k last week, she would probably not need to ask me how many miles that is. Her other sub-specialties involve things like joint and connective tissues, osteoarthritis, and skeletal muscle injuries. Yes, Ponte Vedra Beach is a bit of a drive, but it would probably be worth it to me. Especially since with non-running or non-sports doctors, if you have a niggling pain somewhere and tell them about it, they typically just tell you to quit running.

I'm going to try to set up an appointment for when we get back. Same for Feisal, I want to get him in to his regular vet and get his sugars checked. He's not lethargic after his insulin, exactly, but he's quieter than he normally is, and Feisal is normally hyperactive bouncy cat. So it may be time to start decreasing his dose.

We got the camper out and popped it up and mostly it looks good. There's a small water leak around the dormer, but being able to park it under the lean-to now will eliminate that problem when it's in storage. No mice, one spider. Today and tomorrow I'll start cleaning it up a bit and loading us up.

On a completely different train of thought - I don't really hate any time of year, though I'm not a fan of summer. But something about the time between the weather warming up and the summer solstice makes me really uncomfortable. Maybe it's all the light. I find myself looking out the window like some cranky old bird going, "Why the hell is it light outside! It's bedtime!" Well, you have another month and a half of this, so get used to it.

I wondered why I've lately felt dizzy and weird when I stand up, so I recently started taking my pressure again (still trying to find a good way to integrate this with my blood glucose data and thinking I need to just make my own spreadsheet) and it was 96/54.

Which is pretty good I guess? At least I'm not dead.

I'd love to be able to talk to my doctor about going off BP meds, but my anxiety gets so bad every time I go in that I get normal or slightly above readings. Last office visit it was like 120/79 because I was nervous. When I'm in my natural habitat it tends to run very low.

My doc seems pretty laid back, so I wonder if he'd be open to looking at my self-collected data. I know there's a degree of inaccuracy in testing one's self for these things, but inaccuracies aside I think it might give him a more accurate picture of my health stats than when I'm in his office and despite knowing that there isn't any reason to be worried, worrying anyway.

My blood work results came in overnight, and not only was my glucose down, the other markers I'd been more mildly concerned about were down as well. Nothing was flagged! Liver function, cholesterol, etc. HUZZAH!

I guess just keep doing what I'm doing. :D

So my day is already awesome and I haven't even had a cup of coffee yet. Thankfully. I know you all understand what a massive load off my mind that is.

My Anxiety Brain: Great! That's all cleared up. So what do we worry about next, coronavirus? That looks scary. How much does it resemble Spanish Flu in terms of contagion and mortality?

Me: Do not even. Don't get started.

I should not be as anxious about routine doctor visits as I am. Honestly. But I got worried when my weight was down from last time - but he just kind of brushed it off and said if I feel okay, it's no big deal, but don't lose any more. I'm a bit curious why I've dropped 3-4 pounds and now sit at a lower weight without any real effort. But what the hell.

The nurse who took my vitals got me ALL THROWED OFF when she started grilling me about the abdominal ultrasound I didn't get last year. (or the year before that butanyway) Then lectured me about how we need to keep an eye on those liver enzymes etc, took my BP which was hella high for me (125 over 66 with a pulse rate approaching 100BPM because I'm now in full-blown Anxiety Mode) and finally she's done making me feel like a wayward first-grader. So I never brought up the low blood pressure I've been having at home because I was feeling really ... scared, frankly.

The doctor himself is pretty chill. Also a runner. He gets orders for fasting bloodwork drawn up for me, and says if the liver enzymes keep going down we may not need an ultrasound, but let's check everything out first. Oddly enough the paperwork still has me as having elevated cholesterol, even though the last two blood panels have shown healthy levels. Eh.

So anyway, I'm now trying to quiet my anxiety brain down enough to try to sleep because part of me is screaming about being diabetic and having liver failure.

I also made a quick trip to Chamblin Book Mine and had quite a haul, which I'll share tomorrow when I feel coherent. But I found a complete Sherlock Holmes, no Solar Pons novels, and a stack of stuff on ultramarathons.

There's tidying, which sounds nice. "Tidy" is a word that actually sounds tidy. And then there's the Life-Changing Magic of Just Fucking Throwing Shit Away, You Are Never Going To Use That in a Million Years, It's Garbage. Or as stupid_cat suggests for an "extreme KonMari," just grab your phone and your pets and set your house on fire. There, don't you feel better? 

Okay, enough of that. LOL. BUT as the lunar Year of the Earth Pig kicks off I am having an excellent tidying and minimizing day. I tackled some spaces in my studio and "released" a lot of items I know I will never need or use. Some were in good shape so I stacked them neatly by the road for the trash guys - I know they scavenge stuff so I try to make it easy for them. Anyway, the atmosphere in the house feels progressively better week by week, and in the studio now it especially feels like I can breathe and think and ... create.  It was challenging before, since sometimes I'd take a break and come back with my coffee or whatever and start looking around at all the clutter and thinking, oh god I should get rid of that thing, when am I ever going to need that, did the cats puke in that holy crap that's gross y'all. 

So I may have mentioned I laid out pieces for a new Shrine -  "Reykjanes," - unearthed a couple of works in progress, and have been able to start on my webcomic. Fox has even purchased the domain, we just haven't set anything up and I don't yet have finished content to share but we're moving forward now! 


Tomorrow early I get to go ahead and do my mammography appointment. (whoooooo) But best to go ahead and get the stupid thing done, I really don't want to be up against any follow-up biopsies too close to the Gate River Run. When they had to do the last one I was perfectly fine the next day, but it's just not something I want to deal with mentally while I'm trying to focus on running. So to reward myself for going ahead and doing a Good Thing, I'm planning to get a white chocolate coffee on my way home. The appointment's a 8:30 so I'll be in and out in no time, and hey! The tech will (hopefully) be fresh first thing in the morning, too. I still haven't gotten my login to access my files with my GP so I guess I gotta call their asses tomorrow. I don't remember exactly but it seems like I had trouble setting up an account last time and just said "Oh fuck this" and didn't follow up. 

Also, I have decided that I am really for real this time going to learn to ride a bike this year. First, I'm going to need a bike. Hmm. 

For a couple of nights/mornings now I've been hearing a very talkative kitty outside. This morning I actually saw him on the front porch just after sunup - a big, fuzzy black kitty! Lots of meowing. He seemed scared of me but not totally terrified, so I may be able with some patience get him to trust me enough to trap him. The idea is to take him for a feral wellness visit to a vet in Keystone who does that sort of thing, maybe even spay or neuter (I'm just assuming he's a male right now though I actually have no idea what the cat's sex is) and let him back out here to do his thing. Well, one less thing to do if he gets fixed, but you get the idea. And continuing to assume the cat is male his name, for now, is Marvin. We also have an opossum visitor who has been named Diogenes.

The only thing I have to take points away from myself for is that I have been slacking off on Japanese. I'm going to set myself a goal to practice every day starting from Sunday. I'm kind of amazed at how many characters I recognize, but I have yet to start putting everything together in a coherent way. 

 This is turning into my fun year for medical bullshit.

 

Anyway, I saw the doc today about my shoulder. She took an X-ray and thinks part of the issue is that there's a channel one of the nerves runs through that looks narrower than it ought to be. But for the time being we're tackling this with the lowest-level things first. I have a referral to a physical therapist, and a prescription for heavy-duty Advil. The PT will hopefully know some exercises and such that will restore my range of motion. In the meantime I'm supposed to avoid straining the joint with exercises or serious lifting. Low impact things like yoga are fine. The prescription won't be ready until tomorrow so I may just run back into town and get it, since I won't be out again until Friday.

Oh, and I'm supposed to try to avoid sleeping on my left side. That should be fun! I've only been a left-side sleeper my whole life. LOL.

I'd have liked the cool weather to stick around, but we're having unseasonably warm temps here and I had to go ahead and shut the house back up so I can run the AC. Meh. Maybe by Friday it will cool off again. Or Saturday, fuck if I know. I'm just grumpy because I feel personally victimized by the weather. *shakes fist at the sky* At least daylight savings time is over for now. I really just wish we'd pick ONE TIME and stick with it. I don't care what time scheme we use, just stop this flipping back and forth. It doesn't save electricity, it doesn't help farmers, it's just stupid and annoying. Actually it would be nice if we'd go to military time, but Murica will never do anything sensible like that. We can't even get the metric system.

Tomorrow or Wednesday I'm going to bake matcha and white chocolate brownies. I'll let you know how they come out.


 

They just called with my test results - that was seriously fast. It's benign - no cancer! YAY!!

I'm supposed to go back in December to have a follow-up ultrasound, but otherwise I'm good to go. Yes, I did a couple of fist-pumping kick boxing moves in the kitchen, then made some herbal tea because I'm a total badass like that.

Mondays are my major housecleaning days and most of my stuff is finished for now. I haven't gotten my walk in yet, but I may do that after dinner. I'll go back to running Tuesday with an easy three miles. We don't have anything much planned for the Fourth here. We don't get into "doing" holidays that much, but I'm using it as an excuse to cook up some ribs. And since there aren't a lot of people who live around us the fireworks won't be bad. The cats, of course, hate them, and they mildly annoy me. Especially since I can hear them but they rarely go high enough for me to see any of them.

I'll be hoisting a glass of kombucha to toast my continued existence on this planet.

That was over quickly. I saw the surgeon and was in and out in maybe twenty minutes. It took me longer to find my way around Baptist South than anything. That place is a maze. So he's going to "just" do a needle biopsy first and see what comes back. I'm now waiting on someone to call for an appointment for that. I'm not sure why my GP decided to worry my nerves with that excision stuff.

Also this hospital has a Starbucks in it, for great victory.

I dropped off my scans and stuff at the Breast Center and someone will get in touch with me. Grabbed a coffee. In all I managed to put 2.5 miles on the Fitbit.

The Fresh Market also opened locally, but it wasn't much fun because there are tons of people and I'm not feeling people-y. But I shouldered my way through and picked up some of their spicy Italian sausage (they make fabulous sausage for the omnivores out there), brioche, some marbled rye for my breakfast, and this a pre-mixed bottled margarita that says it's made with agave wine. I'll go back in a couple of weeks when the traffic has died down some so I can shop around better. I also found Belgian endive, which I've been wanting for salad. I would have sworn Publix carried it, but I haven't seen endive for sale since I started looking back in December.

I have no idea what I'm doing with the rest of my afternoon, but I plan on messing around with Minecraft tonight. I may make dinner early, since I had breakfast when I got up this morning and haven't had anything since. I'm looking forward to making eggs in a basket with that brioche.

I am not exactly looking forward to Thursday's consultation. Not because of any actual medical reason, or that I'm scared about potentially having cancer.

I just don't want to drive across the Fuller Warren Bridge. And back.

Given that I'll be out anyway, I intend to go through Flemming Island on my way home. We're getting a Fresh Market and I think it's opening that day. This is a lot closer than the Whole Paycheck Foods and somewhat less annoying. I have to go out anyway so I might as well do something fun. I picked up a CD-Rom of my diagnostic stuff, and filled out all the advance paperwork and so forth. Look at me, all prepared and shit. Like a real adult and everything. I even answered the questions "straight," even though I enjoyed making fun of some of them. How much caffeine do I consume? Like in cups, or pounds? (Given I'll probably be sitting there with a big-ass cup of Starbucks...)

The ant problem has gotten exponentially worse. They managed to find a food source, and it's just a nightmare. Among other things we're considering pulling out the old grout in the backsplash and redoing it - since the old grout won't come clean anymore and they're finding bits of food there. I don't know what they were after in the pantry but I threw out several bags of dehydrated food and dried beans. I put down a couple more bait stations and have cleaned again. Oh, and bees swarmed both hummingbird feeders last night, so I stayed up until full dark when they went home so I could completely clean and refill those. The bees are back today, but there's nothing they can get to. I think they were mainly after the drips and splashes the birds leave when they pull their beaks out of the feeding ports. BUGS MAN, BUGS EVERYWHERE MAN. (please read that in an 'old hippie dude' voice)

Anyway, today was my standard errand day. I actually went to Jax Oriental Market and found a nearly five-pound beef knuckle for my beef broth. I also picked up a couple of packages of this great spicy instant noodle dish - the sauce is seriously one of the hotter things I've ever eaten. And I grabbed a few of the ingredients I was lacking to make this stuff. I have no idea how to say it, but I really want to eat it. And I replaced the adzuki beans I had to toss. I'll be making bean cakes later this week - I make mine on the spicy side and they do pretty well as veggie burgers. I'll post the recipe if anyone is interested.