Get Your Hermit Permit

[pshaw_raven]

 Alone, Not Lonely: On Modern Hermits - Modern Farmer

While being a hermit has its obvious spiritual roots, I believe it's also something that certain types of people are drawn to. And there's a big difference between hermits (hermiting? Is that a word? It is now.) and the anti-social. Your misogynistic basement-dwellers and Ted Kaczynski types. I believe it was Thomas Merton - a man who ought to know a thing or two about it - who said that anyone who goes into the wilderness merely to escape society will find him- or herself keeping company with an army of demons. So there's a gap between "I need to be alone in order to flourish" and "I hate people."

And as much as I like to put on my Grumpy Raven persona, I don't really hate people that much. I find that my threshold for being out and about, around people, talking and interacting, is much, much lower than what most peoples' seems to be. I'm not sure how deep introversion influences the ability to thrive as a hermit, but it would obviously be much harder if you're the gregarious type. For me, being around people even in the most ideal and pleasant of circumstances can be incredibly exhausting. It's rare to find people who aren't draining - Fox is one. I think and hope I am also one - I'd hate to think I am a drain on others. But even doing fun things can really take a lot out of me emotionally, sometimes even physically. My battery gets run all the way down and it takes a longer time to recharge.

In non-hermit news, I forgot to buy raw cashews so I am not making that matcha peppermint cake-thing today. But since I have a sweet potato I make make a pan of scones. The joke around here is that "it's vegan so it's practically a salad." Yes I'm aware that vegan junk food is just as much junk food as regular junk food, LOL. But I prefer to, when I am going to eat sweets and baked treats, to make my own.

Comments

[we_are_spc]

We need a lot of alone time,but we're more outoing than either one of our roomates. Like seriously, one of them is an intravert, and professes some of the same things you do...she's also a shaman, so that makes for an interesting mix right there, let me tell you.

I don't think I could go without talking physically to someone for longer than a month without it driving me insane...or even just being *around* someone, even if nothing is said. ... Just for three weeks had me pent up and wanting to scream...and while the phone helps, it's not thesame as being in proximity.

-Fallon~

[pshaw_raven]

One of the studies I read about isolation in human subjects placed the people in sound-proof rooms. It seems to me that's just really going to grate on people because even if I can go for an entire week out here without seeing another human being, there's sound all around. Dead silence 24-7 would certainly start to get to me.

Like many people I'll talk to myself when I'm alone, or talk to the cats. Being cats, they sometimes start meowing back. But Fox and I go through periods of quiet, and then intensive conversation. Sometimes about important or lofty matters, sometimes about silly things. Then we both go back into introvert/hermit mode, but it works well for us.

Both Dee and I can be schmoozy and social when we need to be, but we both have this strong undercurrent of "oh god I don't want to be talking to this person, when can I leave."

[cdayzee]

Interesting!

I used to quip I hate people. A lot of times I really disliked their actions but sometimes it was also their personalities.

I think now just being around people drains me. Or perhaps it always has & I just put it under the umbrella of hating them in general.

I really dislike social settings where it's common to conversate with people. My son says that makes me socially awkward. I'm pretty sure there is some of that too. Because being social isn't my forte & I avoid it if possible, I'm not really conditioned to thrive in that environment.

[Sorry if my comment is disjointed. Today is a busy day & I'm running quite behind.]

[pshaw_raven]

Making small talk gets on my nerves, so I tend to only engage in the minimum required to get people talking about things they're really interested in. I think a lot of my drinking habits came about in response to being around very talkative, very sociable people most of time and needing something to get me into the spirit of things. But I came to the same conclusion you did - I've always found people draining and didn't realize that was different from hating them. I love people and wish them all the best, but I don't really want to hang out with them.

[dorchadas]

I used to think I disliked people, but it turned out I just disliked a lot of the specific people I hung out with. Once I found different friends, I was perfectly happy to spend the majority of my days in any given week out doing something with them. It's a huge surprise to me, honestly.

I even went to a barbecue yesterday where I knew no one except the hosts, spent probably 95% of it talking to people, and had a lovely time.

Then again, it might just be my personality changing over time.