pshaw_raven: (Crow with flowers)
[personal profile] pshaw_raven
Mom's card still didn't show up today so we had a short but fairly civil text convo, and she sent some backyard pics. Hopefully that defuses some of the tension, but she's going to think whatever she wants about me and I don't care.

I have tried to bear in mind over the years that mom's life had its own difficulties and that yes, I could have been a better person growing up. But she needs to own her shit, instead of acting like she's fine and everyone else has a problem. Or as if people mess up things or forget on purpose just to spite her. She's from that generation that thinks mental health is a shameful, secret thing, and "normal people" have no problems whatsoever. Meanwhile, she takes her issues out on everyone around her, including Gina and myself. I wish I didn't care, but I don't exactly like seeing people be miserable. And I have other shit to do with my life than spend it letting her bitter attitude ruin things for me.

We went out for a short bike ride this morning around the lakes at Gold Head, before the park got too busy. I'm trying to build up some confidence in my riding, and I've finally kinda got the hang of turning corners, just not very sharply. I'm still prone to go wherever I look, and I'm anxious when Fox rides near me, since that was how I wiped out before. - I thought I was going to hit him, overcompensated, and used the left side of my body as brakes. I also tend to ride in the dead middle of my lane, but I'm working on that. I need to be more aware of where the fluctuations in the pavement are guiding me and be a little more proactive about steering, but that comes back to how I go where I'm looking and have some trouble with zig-zagging. But anyway, we rode about four miles, then walked down to one of the lakes and looked around a bit.

There were several Sandhill Cranes out on the larger lake, and the smaller one showed tracks of large wading birds in the shallows. We heard a lot of woodpeckers, and saw one with its head stuck out of a nesting hole. Fox spotted a Vulture being harassed by a Red-Shouldered Hawk, possibly the hawks have a nest in the area, and one them is getting super-territorial.

We got one set of guy lines up on the tower, but the rest will have to wait. Fox is out anchoring them now, and when I was dis-entangling and getting everything to its correct anchor point, I managed to step in a nest of fire ants, so that was ... a thing that happened. :P

I wanted to go for a short run today but we'll see how things work out. Maybe just a four-miler tomorrow, outside if it's still nice. My foot doesn't ache as much now, except for the ant bites.

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