I'm so happy that you're in a secure environment with a caring partner. That helps soo much!
It's interesting you say that you can't remember a lot of your childhood. It makes me wonder exactly what trauma my husband has been through because he barely recalls anything. And the last time I was privy to an in-person convo with his dad & brothers, the stuff he thinks he remembers isn't accurate at all. Yet he stays far away from this. I know it takes great courage to look at the past. Sometimes it can be less painful not to examine it - in his case. However, due to my [newly realized] autism, I have a strong desire to understand people by looking at what they've been through. The examining definitely has many layers with lots of corresponding emotions. I think later in life is when many start doing the hard inner work & when questions start surfacing.
I think back to when we were kids, there was a different viewpoint on kid-raising. When we know better, we do better but back then I think a lot of adults were simply trying to survive life [which sometimes includes generational trauma]. I don't think there was an awareness that kids were actually different individuals but were someone to mold. I think we were more objectified. Not saying that as a defense but more to understand.
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timeasmymeasure
no subject
Date: 2024-08-10 11:10 pm (UTC)I'm so happy that you're in a secure environment with a caring partner. That helps soo much!
It's interesting you say that you can't remember a lot of your childhood. It makes me wonder exactly what trauma my husband has been through because he barely recalls anything. And the last time I was privy to an in-person convo with his dad & brothers, the stuff he thinks he remembers isn't accurate at all. Yet he stays far away from this. I know it takes great courage to look at the past. Sometimes it can be less painful not to examine it - in his case. However, due to my [newly realized] autism, I have a strong desire to understand people by looking at what they've been through. The examining definitely has many layers with lots of corresponding emotions. I think later in life is when many start doing the hard inner work & when questions start surfacing.
I think back to when we were kids, there was a different viewpoint on kid-raising. When we know better, we do better but back then I think a lot of adults were simply trying to survive life [which sometimes includes generational trauma]. I don't think there was an awareness that kids were actually different individuals but were someone to mold. I think we were more objectified. Not saying that as a defense but more to understand.
:hugs: