A Wiz in the Kitchen

[pshaw_raven]

I was casually scrolling through one of those infamous internet lists the other day, in this case, "what culinary hill are you willing to die on," as asked to users of Reddit. And we all know people on Reddit have Opinions About Things.

"Burgers should get wider, not taller," which meshed well with "A burger should fit in your mouth - you should not have to use a knife and fork to eat it." I agree. While a tall, stacked burger looks good in an ad, in practice, eating one is terrible. I want to get a little of all the elements of a burger in one bite, so I can enjoy them together.

"Stop dissing 'poor food.'" A-fuckin-men. Do you know what kind of cooking skill it takes to make crappy, cheap ingredients taste good? Then you go to a Michelin starred restaurant and get shit like basil foam served over a paper-thin slice of dog's milk cheese? WTF.

"Take your apron off when you go to the restroom." Holy shit, who doesn't do that. Gross.

Another one that I don't think was specifically addressed, but that bugs me to no end, is the way some people comment and respond to recipes. I cooked something last week and, no joke, there was some nitwit in the comments talking about how she subbed beef for pork, left out the soy sauce, made any number of other changes, and then gave the recipe one star because it didn't taste good? YOU DIDN'T MAKE THE RECIPE, BRENDA. You made whatever other unholy concoction of ground beef and ditch water you described in your comment.

In some cases, yes, you can make substitutions, like ground pork or turkey for beef, depending on what you've got. But if you start swapping all the seasonings around and changing the cooking method, you've strayed so far from the recipe as written that you're not following it any more. In those cases I'll bookmark something and add the missing items to my grocery list. But I like to typically make a new recipe exactly as written at least once before I start tweaking it and changing things around.

That being said, Disneyland has a new dish at their Galaxy's Edge Outpost, and it's described as being a chili-ginger pork and noodle dish. Now, I assume that when they say spicy, they mean "Disney spicy," which means someone may have waved a cayenne molecule in its general direction. I went Googling, and I found it's actually a fairly common recipe, so it's on the list for me to try to make. I just have to wait because I'm out of fresh ginger, and the recipe actually has ginger in the name, so I can't just leave it out. But it sounds like an adaptation of a Thai dish, with the ginger, sweet chili sauce, soy sauce, lime juice, and crushed peanuts.

Comments

[oracne]

Sweet chili sauce and lime, NOM.

[pshaw_raven]

I put that on regular cooked rice and it's great.

[honigfrosch]

I cooked something last week and, no joke, there was some nitwit in the comments talking about how she subbed beef for pork, left out the soy sauce, made any number of other changes, and then gave the recipe one star because it didn't taste good? YOU DIDN'T MAKE THE RECIPE, BRENDA. You made whatever other unholy concoction of ground beef and ditch water you described in your comment.

I almost choked on my drink. Requesting permission to metaquotes.

[pshaw_raven]

Please do
XD

[honigfrosch]

Done!

[cdayzee]

Ha! I agree with much of what you said :)

I see that a lot about people commenting on recipes, changing it all up then giving it a bad review. I've also seen other people call out those people via comments. People can't resist being difficult.

I also agree: I too make the original recipe then go from there or decide to trash it.

That Asian dish sounds yummy! Have you ever tried any of Chrissy Teigen's recipes? I make a version of her crockpot spicy Thai beef. It includes flank steak, coconut milk, Thai peanut sauce & sriracha. Hers includes a veggie tray but I have to omit that because the husband loathes them.

[pshaw_raven]

I can understand when you have a specific dietary need or something, but in some cases it looks like people just switching things up to be doing. "I didn't have X, Y, or Z, so ..." so maybe go to the store, LOL. I sometimes have a separate set of Chrome tabs of stuff to make next week after I go grocery shopping.

I have not made any of her recipes, but that sounds perfect! I've been wanting something like that for (oddly enough) breakfast, so I might make a big batch and keep it in the fridge.

[telophase]

Years back I gave a jambalaya recipe to a friend. She made it, and reported that it didn't taste as good as when I did it. I asked how she made it, and she started with "I subbed in turkey bacon..." and I said "That's why."

[pshaw_raven]

Turkey bacon ... bless her heart.

Here via metaquotes

[azurelunatic]

I mean, if you're going to alter the recipe THAT much and it goes all wrong, at least have the grace to refrain from leaving a comment!

[expandranon]

I'm the same about burgers. If it's too tall to fit in the average person's mouth, you're doing it wrong. I'm also averse to this trend of putting Too Many Toppings on the patty. Is it even a burger anymore if it has a patty, a fried egg, a portabella cap, a whole order of onion rings, peanut butter, garlic aioli, dijon mayo, and chipotle BBQ sauce? Don't assault my face with an overly thick patty and then put everything else in the kitchen on top of it.

"Disney spicy." I may have to start using that. My go to for the longest time has been "Yankee hot."