There is something to be said about the pieces starting to fit later in life that help explain & rationalize things. I've recently started on my own journey, so it's all quite new. Since I've already lived most of my life, I'm encountering not only a lot of unknowns but also a lot of naysayers, which adds another layer. Before, I just knew something was 'off' but I was given labels to explain it away. Now that I'm starting to see the whole picture & experience relief & a desire to share my 'good news' with folks, that's being shit on & I'm still basically told that I'm crazy or whatever. Cryptic comment is cryptic, I guess lol but even though our situations aren't the same, I can appreciate the similarities :) I hope that makes sense at least! I've had a terrible time lately of expressing myself adequately & giving up - leaving people to misinterpret my meaning.

I've been trying to figure out some sensory item that could calm me down but I've been so lost on the whole 'how to cope' thing that even that is a mystery to me. Therein the problem becomes by being late-[self]diagnosed, in my case. I do have an odd affinity for like nubby material. I can't quite describe it. I had a blanket as a child that was threadbare & pilled but it felt good to rub the material between my fingers. My husband owns a dress shirt that's similar [not threadbare or pilly but nubby by design] & I can't stop myself from doing that when he's wearing it. The blanket didn't really calm me as a kid nor does the throwback take me back to a warm & fuzzy time, I just like how it feels. Again, probably not making sense to anyone but myself. I see lots of people feel better with fidgeting & sensory stuff & I want to also :sigh:

Anyway, I'm happy for you that you're getting the validation <3