It's normal to expect your parent to behave in a loving manner. And when they don't, it's also normal to experience feelings of second-guessing yourself for acting accordingly to preserve your well-being. And you're right: she won't change unless or until she recognizes she has an issue & deals with it appropriately. So I don't blame you one bit <3 Family dynamics can be complicated.

Ack - hornets! That wouldn't be anything pleasant to encounter! I'm guessing that may have been an issue during the spring/summer months? I guess that's something to note for future reference! lol